From what I’ve observed, the “mommy thing” goes hand-in-hand with the “cupcake thing”, no matter how out of sync it may feel with your id. So, I finally baked something approximating said nomenclature. Yes, it required a bit of measuring (100ml milk – just used one of Petit-Homme’s milk bottles, no need to dig out the measuring jug) and yes, I learned a fundamental rule about cakes: eggs need to be at “room temperature”. Not quite sure why and how precise this rule is. After all, what if I like my rooms freezing cold? Determined as I was not to ruin this cake mix (how can they call it an instant cake mix if you still have to add butter, milk and eggs?) I allowed the eggs to bask on the counter for a few token minutes. Hoping all that lamplight warmed them up adequately, I threw in the other ingredients and approximated the butter. Seriously, does it really matter? Also, in a pinch, could I substitute infant formula for whole milk?
For the icing, I checked out a “recipe” for lemon icing online but reckoned I could free form this. Who on earth uses 3 cups of icing sugar? I cobbled together some lemon juice, about ¾ cup of icing sugar and some butter – when it looks like a thick sauce, you’re good to go. Sorry Kitchen Magpie and you other superstar food bloggers, but my goal isn’t to have to run 20km the morning after (if only we had a morning after pill for this kind of night time lascivious debauchery). Plus, I didn’t have enough butter to meet the proper ratios for a gorgeous topping as I had already scraped most of it for the cake bit (see above). The meager ingredients I had on hand meant that the piping bag and tips (required to guarantee cupcake swirls, roses, flourishes etc.) got to continue hibernating in their pristine paper box.
Finally, I took the cakes out 5 minutes early as I usually prefer them moist. (In fact, I reckon lots of people prefer just eating the cake mix. Only public decency prevents them from admitting it.) Everything rose as it should. For someone who doesn’t really like cupcakes, I appreciate that there is [potential for] high aesthetic value and it can make even the most inept baker feel like opening a cupcake business. If you don’t believe me, try watching back to back episodes of 2 Broke Girls.
By the way, I did find them tasty – half a dozen somehow disappeared while watching The Interview (Kim Jong Un seems have that effect on food)- but much better with a generous scoop of vanilla ice-cream.